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ISSUE#
02
From the mountain
to the sea
TAGLINE山與海,傻佬與探險家——專訪細So、JackJack

01門鐘響起,細So一家人抵達攝影棚,大兒子JackJack站在門口光速脫鞋...

偌大的空間忽然熱鬧起來,每個人都同他講:「唔洗除、唔洗除」,轉眼間他卻早就打著赤腳,站在窗邊跳跳紮了。

陌生空間裡的一切,都惹起JackJack的好奇心:高腳椅、剪刀、工具箱、塑膠玩偶……他絲毫不怯生,很快就找到在檯凳間竄來竄去的路線,連一旁的工作人員姐姐也忍不住笑說:「JackJack著蜘蛛人T恤衫,一點都沒著錯。」那件白色的T恤衫,更襯出了他黝黑而活潑的膚色——夏日陽光融開的焦糖的顏色。

02The doorbell rang. Danny So arrived the studio with his older son, JackJack, who flung off his shoes the moment he stepped into the room...

When we told him: “no need, no need to take off your shoes”, he was already bouncing by the window barefoot.

Everything from this unfamiliar space sparked his curiosity: bar stool, scissor, toolkit and plastic doll. Perfectly comfortable around strangers, JackJack soon started zipping through the furniture in a white T-shirt that highlights his sun-kissed caramel skin. One of our helpers joked: “This Spider-Man T-shirt is a perfect match for him.”

02從市區到貝澳,只因JackJack一個笑容

一天早上,剛醒來的JackJack忽然大喊,爸媽聞聲心驚——平日小野人一般,天不怕地不怕,怎會突如其來地哭?仔細查看,原來是前一天在沙灘玩耍時,踩到了海膽一樣的生物,腳底板扎滿了刺。媽媽以眉鉗將刺一根根拔下來,刺會碎,皮肉會裂,聽者都起了一身雞皮,何況當事的小男孩?但過不久,JackJack又恢復能量,打著赤腳四圍行了。

初生牛犢不怕海膽,就是JackJack的日常。

五年前,細So舉家從市區搬入大嶼山,入住貝澳。現在,出門幾步便是上山的路,不到五分鐘就能抵達沙灘,舉目之處都是孩子的遊樂場。住在小村落裡,偶爾會收到鄰居拿來的一整盆新鮮螺肉,兒子們又時不時到鄰居家去,和五隻貓咪一齊玩。這樣的生活模式,都市人難以想象,細So一家人卻早就習以為常。

但原來搬離市區、全然改變生活方式,竟源於一個衝動——

「第一次帶JackJack去貝澳沙灘,是搬家的三個月前。那天我們玩得好開心,回家後翻看相片時,看到JackJack臉上的笑容。看著那個笑容,我同妻子講:『就是這裡了,我們搬過來。』」細So臉上掛滿了笑意,仿佛如今講起來,還覺得有些不可思議。一個地方與一些人,是命運也是天性的牽引。

02From downtown to Pui O, it all began with a smile

One morning, JackJack woke up and burst into hysterical tears. His parents were terrified – what could possibly make our daredevil cry?

It turned out he was suffering with puncture wounds in the foot from stepping on a sea urchin while playing on the beach the day before.

His mum removed the stings carefully one by one with an eyebrow tweezer. The spines of the sea urchin broke off and his skin raptured. Yet, a moment later, he put himself back together and started toddling around barefoot.

Kids are born fearless, and that’s what defines JackJack’s daily life.

Danny moved to Pui O on Lantau Island with his family five years ago. Their home is in proximity to a pathway that winds its way up to a mountain, where the recreational Pui O beach is within five-minutes’ walk.

Living in this small village means you’ll occasionally receive snail dishes from friendly neighbours or your kids running off to play with cats next door. This simple village life may seem unimaginable to those who live in big cities, but is bountiful for Danny and his family.

In retrospect, the decision to move away from the city and live a completely different life is made on impulse –

“The first time I brought JackJack to Pui O was three months before the move. It was a pleasant day,” Danny recounted.

“When I looked at his smiling face in the photos, I said to my wife, it’s here, let’s move here,” he grinned, as if the move was still unreal to him.

It was partly fate and partly his nature that brought him to certain places.

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偶然氣餒,仍然相信:生命的路不止一條
There’s more than one way to skin a cat
/

在貝澳的家中,細So親手建起一間小樹屋。那是他平日靜修的地方,兩個兒子卻常常趁他不在,偷跑上去傾心事,留下一地糖果紙。「他們還以為我不知道,傻佬來的。」細So笑得親暱。

多少城市人渴望一間這樣的樹屋,與自然相伴,可免去都市生活中的煩雜。然而真正開始踐行這種生活時,細So與妻也面對著同樣的艱難與挑戰。

一場老同學的飯局,席上坐著醫生、律師,當他們得知細So攜家遷入鄉村、為孩子報讀Happy School時,竟清一色表示反對——「兒子之後讀書怎麼辦?沒有競爭力怎麼辦?」這些來自外部的聲音,不時困擾著兩人,壓力像一層無形的薄膜扣在他們心上。細So自言尚能承受,心疼的是妻子更常面對來自主流生活圈的質疑,但轉念一想:「如果現在JackJack和Max仍住在都市裡,每日在學校爭取好成績,那只不過是將大人的壓力轉嫁到孩子的身上?」

不久後,細So收到飯局席上一位律師朋友的訊息,他哭著說女兒入學兩個月以來,從來沒有一天見她笑過。朋友問他:「可以找一天帶我女兒來貝澳,和其他小朋友一齊玩嗎?」回應當然是好。在這個膨脹擠壓、喘息艱難的現代叢林中,無論身處何方,都難以避免來自競爭與秩序的壓力;消解它的方式有很多種,強忍與順服卻不在其中。

At his home in Pui O, Danny built a small treehouse as a sanctuary for him to wind down. When he is not around, the brothers love to sneak in for secret talks and leave a trail of candy wrappers on the floor.

“They think I have no idea about this, how cute,” he flashed a tender smile.

A treehouse like this is a dream for many. Living close to nature reduces emotional stress that often comes with busy city life. But before all these, Danny and his family had their fair share of challenges.

At a dinner gathering, for instance, all of his friends from college, mostly doctors and lawyers, opposed to Danny’s idea of living in an outpost and sending his kids to what it’s called “Happy School”.

“What about higher education? What if it weakens their competitiveness?” they cautioned.

Outside pressures loomed over the So family. Danny was able to cope but couldn’t bear to see his wife being questioned by mainstream society.

Yet, he stayed true to his belief: “if we stayed in the city and have JackJack and Max sweat through tests and exams, we’d be passing our stress on to our kids.”

A while later, Danny received a text from his lawyer friend telling him his little girl never smile again since enrolment, not even once. He asked Danny if he could bring his daughter to Pui O to play with other kids. Danny agreed.

Everyone who lives in this congested and suffocating city is inexorably besieged by stress spawned by competition and social order, he believes. There are lots of remedies to combat stress; bowing to it is not one of them.

03我的志願:Explorer

細So為兩個兒子取名,哥哥叫蘇浪仁,弟弟叫蘇㟍仁:「叫得浪人,就是希望他們去闖,但不是放養。」他清晰地意識到,自己是站得遠遠的觀察者,鼓勵兩個孩子享受一切過程,也不幹預他們發掘新奇事物。

快滿七歲的JackJack,經常會自己發想一系列project,例如做一本書,或者計劃一次夜遊探險。這時候,細So的角色就是陪伴者,為他準備書目、紙筆、相機、望遠鏡……上山落海探秘,對他們而言或許就像散步一樣稀鬆平常;然而他們的旅程,與熱血動畫中背著齊整背囊、整裝待發的父子檔不同——行前沒有昂揚清脆的一句「我地出發喇」,而是永遠充滿甩碌,充滿笑料。

出門前忘記帶剪刀,就找山裡適合的木塊替代;曾經不會主動碰觸蛇與蜥蜴的細So,如今因為JackJack對爬行動物的狂愛,也要練膽上前。而對充滿好奇心的JackJack來說,每次探險中都有奇遇。有時經過一個洞穴,他忽然問:「裡面曾經住著熊人嗎?」細So也總是不會戳穿他的幻想,而是接著提出:「是嗎?不知道裡面有沒有蜂蜜罐和蜜蜂呢?」

有一天,JackJack認真地對細So說:「我長大要做一個explorer。」

Explorer?細So驚喜地擘大眼,「當年寫《我的志願》,我們都會寫老師、醫生、律師,很實際的,誰會想到做一個explorer?如果說小孩有一套屬於他們的新鮮語言的話,也許就是這樣。在他們的概念中,職業的分野已不再那麼清晰,explorer也可以是一份職業。」

孩子所帶來的靈感,總是出人意料。早前剛剛結束一份工作的細So,也感歎著時代應該要這樣改變:也許不久的未來,boss這個概念也會慢慢消逝,人們從事喜愛的志業、而不再是職業,如此一來,又會有何新景象誕生呢?

03I want to be an explorer

The Chinese names of his two boys are inspired by the word “wanderer”, carrying Danny’s aspiration for them to “explore the world.”

As an “observer” in the father-son relationship, Danny said his job is to encourage his kids to enjoy the ride and to have new discoveries.

JackJack, almost seven, always comes up with interesting projects such as writing a book or planning an adventure in the dark. Danny paves the way for his son’s little adventures every time, preparing the likes of pen, paper, camera and telescope for him.

From mountain to sea, exploring the nature has become a custom for the father and son, with their voyages of exploration usually marked by minor hiccups and joys.

For example, when they leave the scissor at home, a block of wood is an alternative; Danny has also learnt to conquer his fear of snakes and lizards just because his son is particularly fond of reptiles.

JackJack finds excitement in each and every adventure.

“Did a bear live here before?” he once asked when passing by a cave. Danny played along: “you think so? I wonder if there are honey pots and bees inside.”

One day, JackJack got serious: “When I grow up, I want to be an explorer.”

An explorer? Danny was greatly astounded.

“We used to say ‘teacher’, ‘doctor’ or ‘lawyer’ when asked about what we wanted to be when we grow up,” he recalled, “who would have thought of an explorer?”

“If children really do have their own individual languages, this could be it. For them, the line between different types of job is becoming increasingly blurred as now an explorer is regarded as a profession.”

Children always caught us by surprise with their inspirations. Looking back on his last position, Danny wonders if the concept of “boss” is going to fade away as people now look beyond profession to vocation. Will this change the way we work? He ponders.

04是拍檔,也是朋友,「他們是來教我的」

正是因此,細So時常感受到與孩子探索的同時,也有機會重新探索自己。

「我會避免與人談論為父之道。當我知道有了JackJack和Max的時候,心底產生一種強烈的感覺:他們是來教我的。」這樣一來,誰是爸爸?誰是兒子?關於這個問題,細So想了一會兒,笑道「我想我們是一起生活的好朋友。如果有天,好朋友跌倒了,你會喝罵他嗎?你一定是站在旁邊,笑著說:『搞錯呀你,咁唔小心既?』」

身為家中老幺,細So有三個哥哥,如果說長兄為父,那麼就有四個爸爸。四個爸爸在他們不同年紀、不同狀態中,又會以各異的方式與自己溝通,這也使得細So自小敏銳,不會用特定的方式來對待任何人。如今,當JackJack與Max起了衝突,細So也不干預其中,而是引導兩人用他們自己的方式溝通,天性縝密的JackJack很快就捉到了弟弟的情緒——真哭或扮哭,需要別人安慰或是自己冷靜……提及這些,細So仍然是驚奇又欣慰,「他觀察事物總是比我細緻,這也教會我很多。」

又有一天,JackJack說他發現了世界上最難的問題,那就是「What is the meaning of life?」

細So嚇了嚇,反問道:「你知道咩?」

JackJack冷靜地說:「我唔知呀,等我大個啲再話俾你聽。」

04“They’re here to teach me.”

Which is why Danny believes exploring with his kids allow him to rediscover himself.

“I tend not to talk about parenting,” said Danny. “When I knew I have JackJack and Max, I had this strong feeling that they are here to teach me.”

So who is the father and who is the son? Danny paused for a moment and mused: “I think we are good pals who live together. Imagine if your friend tripped over, would you scold at him? No. You’d be on his side and give him a little pat on the back.”

Being the youngest in the family with three older brothers, Danny has developed flexibility in interpersonal relationships very early on. In Chinese traditional cultural values, older brother is like your father, which means Danny has four dads, and each of them tried to communicate with him in their own ways. Now he is trying to pass the skills on to his older son, guiding him through how to handle conflicts with his little brother. JackJack can now tell what does his brother need - is he truly crying or just faking it; if he needs comforting or to be left alone……

“He is very attentive to details,” said Danny, “and I’ve learnt from him.”

One day, JackJack announced he has stumbled across the hardest question in the world: “What is the meaning of life?”

A little startled, Danny asked: “Do you have the answer?”

JackJack calmly replied: “I don’t know. Let me tell you when I’m older.”

Presented by Storyteller team.
Storyteller : 細so & Jack
Text : 潤宇
Art direction & photography : Pazu Chan
Assistant : Bao
Translator : Jennifer Chan
Special thanks for Levi’s HK for wardrobe sponsorship.

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